BACK FROM THE BRINK: Stories of Resilience, Reconciliation an Reconnection

Tim Chan   

and Sarah Chan       

 

INTRODUCTION

 

I was 14 years old when I entertained serious thoughts about suicide. I was only prevented from carrying out my self-destruction because of my severe autism. Not having full control of my body, I didn’t know if I would end up in the morgue or permanently on life support or in a wheelchair. Already without speech, having huge hypersensory issues, movement difficulties, proneness to being overloaded, I didn’t want to add immobility and other challenges to my list in case I didn’t succeed in killing myself.

I wasn’t aware that I was depressed. At 14, in Year 8 at High School, I only got the sense that life was grinding me down. I was totally out of place in a mainstream high school where no one seemed interested in me, and people walked past me as if I didn’t exist. I was utterly powerless, had no speech, and was denied my usual means to communicate by typing with support.  I felt the world would be better off without me.

By twenty, I had come a long way. Luck was on my side, with a supportive social network, family, advocates, and concerned professionals in and out of school, I gradually found my voice and my feet. Through the dark times, I had learned a few things. I would never have made it this far if I didn’t have people who care about me and believe in me. Through their support, I was able to start believing in myself. Eventually, I was also given the opportunity to speak and more importantly, was listened to.......

Finding my voice and telling the story of my experiences with autism have helped me come out of my shell and reconnect with people and with life. 

Though I have still have difficulty in overcoming my fear of being ostracised, I now know there are many others like me; disconnected, disengaged, disfranchised. I’ve come to realise that I am not alone, and that we all face challenges. It is not how many times you fall. What counts is that you keep getting up again and giving yourself permission to put failures behind you to persevere in achieving your dreams. The personal triumph of confronting your fears and challenges and of coming through difficult times, should broadcast. These stories are reminders that we are all human beings with daily struggles, and resilience and acts of courage, large or small, can be achieved and celebrated.

How do we transform ourselves from a state of alienation, defeat and negativism to a mindset that embodies empowerment, success and optimism? 

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Read my story, now in book form. 

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