Words of Wisdom on Resilience

 

"Over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect."

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The internet is full of words of wisdom if you know where to look, and people circulate these for inspiration and various other reasons. I often think of these as a kind of New Year resolutions. We keep making the resolution to do the right things, but very often, after a time, fall back on our old habits. On the other hand, the resolve helps us focus on the right track even though we may take our time getting to our goals. Likewise, even though these sayings may be trite at times, I love the way they help us to see things from another angle, and wrapping my mind around words gives me a thrill of seeing how many different ways there are for us to steer the ship on our journey. The above quotation has caught my attention. I guess I am always on the lookout for different ways to deal with disappointment, losses and setbacks. Resilience in words and deeds are collectors' items in my books, and I hope some of their strength will be transferred to me for times of trial and tribulation. 

Resilience is defined as the ability to recover from shock or injury (Oxford Advance Learner's Dictionary). Life is not always going to be a bowl of cherries, and we need to be prepared for curved balls from time to time. My question is when adversity strikes, how do we get the ability to keep going while waiting for recovery to come. The people who are able to keep going under extreme circumstances are those who show resilience. I have had the good fortune to be  inspired by several notable examples of resilient people who have found a way forward when calamity strikes. For instance, Maria Lewit, who was forced to go into hiding from the Nazis during their occupation of her native Poland in 1939-1945, said when there are no other options, we need to just keep going. For Maria, to keep on going meant keeping her spirits up and her faith and trust intact for better times to come for her and her extended family. For a 15 year old who had grown up, had been loved and nurtured in a safe, affluent and secure environment, it must be a huge shock to see her world disintegrating and to witness family, friends, neighbour rounded up, forceably moved into the ghetto, imprisoned, tortured, or transported to the death camps, if not summarily killed first. Maria's pain and shock at the blows life had dealt must have been intolerable, but she not only survived the ordeal, but emerged as a wiser, stronger and more compassionate person.  Her courage cannot be denied, but I think it must take more than sheer will-power and determination. I have attempted to look for answers and found Brene Brown, who described herself as a human stories researcher, has something to offer. She feels that in acknowledging our vulnerability we become more able to face our suffering with understanding and acceptance. It seems counter-intuitive but I think she is right. To keep going in times of great difficulty, we have to face the fact that we are human beings and not superman, and acknowledge that we don't have all the answers. But in confronting our uncertainty, fears and pain, we become more able to accept our human frailty and our vulnerability without the need to be strong or right at all times. It is then that we can keep going because we know that come what may, we just need to do our best to stay afloat. After all, as the above saying goes, there are, if not joys, at least comfort, in knowing we can be imperfect.